oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
you inspire me to be a worse person
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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