I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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