i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
