i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
