On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Randomize
