how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
