drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
