its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
