She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
