he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Randomize
