OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Randomize
