i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
