I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
