im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
