need another drink. this is the easiest way
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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