I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
