She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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