I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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