Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
