escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I supernannyed him into submission
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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