I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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