I'm gonna have a badass scar
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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