i just google imaged poop.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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