this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I wish there were birth control emojis
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
