Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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