Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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