Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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