what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
