So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
