I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
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