weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
There's always time for handjobs
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
