OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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