YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I fill condoms, not promises.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
