In the future we'll all be gay
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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