she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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