Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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