I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
