Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
