spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Randomize
