Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
