Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
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