Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
My balls are so social today.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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