I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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