Just fell off a train. Bad.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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