If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm passing your future prison.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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