I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I'm passing your future prison.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize