it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
