You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
