is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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