i think my tv is drunk
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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