Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Randomize