The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize