It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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