I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
