it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
