based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
