It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
