I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
