Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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