tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
