these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Randomize
