I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize
