it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
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