They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
