rhymes with "ouble enetration"
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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