I checked into jail on foursquare
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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