Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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