Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
