i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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