People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
