if i can run in heels then i can drive
People in love make me want to vomit
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
